I was born and raised in China, a country that chases white, young, slim aesthetics. I cared about my appearance because friends called me nicknames like "fat girl" and "cake face," and the boy I longed for called me "dinosaur," which means "horrid girl." I believed my face and body prevented people from loving me. I didn't take selfies and did not like being in photos.

When I decided to study abroad in the U.S., I discovered the diversity of aesthetics, but my mental health suffered, and I began taking medication. The medication helped my brain but altered my body, and I gained over fifty pounds.
But now I am not ashamed because I have seen many beautiful, confident, cool, "chubby" girls, and I ask myself, as long as I'm healthy, why I can't be one of them? But although I no longer engage in body shaming, my mom and family friends do.
Similarly, I recently rescued a cat; friends told me she was too skinny. As I nurtured her back to health, they called her "fat cat" and said she had to lose weight. No matter the body's kind or shape, shaming persists.

In my lens-based project "Goddess," I model the self-confidence and self-love I think everyone should practice. Showing my "ugly" body parts and pretending to be in a beauty pageant, I use sound and video to share feedback from family and friends and present the idea that, although I cannot satisfy everyone, I am confident and self-loving improves the world.